As we continue our conversation on dating, it becomes necessary to examine more specifically the qualities that we should be seeking in a potential significant other. Contemporary media reinforces stereotypes about what women and men should be, yet seems to leave out significant qualities. Women like Megan Fox are lauded for their beauty and sex appeal. Men like George Clooney and Gerard Butler are praised for their charm and party-boy ways. "Love affairs" between infatuated young women and brooding vampires have become the standard for true love. How then do we weed through all the cultural lies and hype and arrive at standards for who we are to be and what we are to look for?  

The story of Ruth and Boaz provides a glimpse into the introduction, courtship, and eventual marriage of a couple who recognize the Biblical traits in a significant other that are crucial to a strong relationship. It is important to remember that Ruth has left her home after the death of her husband to follow and care for her mother-in-law Naomi. Why look at a story about a woman who goes to glean in a man's field when we're talking about dating? This story is their courtship. Ruth and Boaz end up married. As we examine both Ruth and Boaz, we can become more aware of the traits and characteristics that we should be looking for in the people we date.  

Ruth 2:1-17 speaks to four character traits exemplified by Ruth. First, Ruth is loyal. In verse 2, Ruth acknowledges the importance of her relationship with Naomi by seeking her counsel. Furthermore, we know that Ruth left the shelter of her parents and her homeland to become a despised, widowed, foreigner in order to honor and care for Naomi. Secondly, Ruth is active and responsible. She does not sit at home bemoaning the death of her husband and her complete loss of social status, she actively goes out to glean in the fields to provide for Naomi and herself. It is also important to note that Ruth does not simply go out into the field, but she works diligently as verse 7 says, "she has continued from early morning until now, except for a short rest." Finally we learn that Ruth is both humble/dependent on grace and is faithful to God. Throughout the passage, Ruth acknowledges that she must find favor in order to obtain the gracious privilege of gleaning. Often landowners ignored the Levitical law that required they show mercy to the poor by allowing them to gather the leftover crops. It is clear that Ruth is able to go out boldly and humbly because of her faithfulness to the Lord. Because she recognizes that God is in control and is gracious, she is able to serve and work fearlessly for God's glory, not her own.  

This passage also provides an introduction to the character of Boaz. Verse 1 reveals that Boaz is a  "worthy man." He possesses moral character, social power, and wealth. We do not learn if Boaz is handsome. Instead, we learn that he is a man who is known for his character and his position of integrity within society. He is integrity is further reinforced in verse 9 when he orders his servants and workers to protect Ruth and not to touch her. Her honor is important to him. He has heard of what she has done for Naomi and seeks to honor that in how he treats her. Like Ruth is faithful to God in all aspects of her life, so Boaz is a man who maintains integrity with his faith. He greets his servants in the name of the Lord (v.4) revealing that, for him, there is no distinction between the secular and the sacred. His faith informs all aspects of his life. Finally, we see that Boaz is a man of generosity. Not only does he uphold the Levitical law, but he also goes beyond what the law requires. Verses 15-16 state, "When she rose to glean, Boaz instructed his young men, saying, ‘let her glean from even among the sheaves and do not reproach her. And also pull out some from the bundles for her and leave it for her to glean." He leaves extra for her and in verse 14 invites her to eat dinner with him and his workers ensuring that she is full.

The story of Ruth and Boaz shows a continual interplay between two people who understand their dependence on the Lord's grace. They are able to respond and act with humility and respect because they know that they are in the hands of a loving and wise God. Boaz realizes that he is related to Naomi, and therefore, can marry Ruth under the cultural practice of the kinsman-redeemer. He can take in both Ruth and Naomi and provide all that they need to regain right standing in society. The story, however, does not stop here. As we read further in the story of Ruth, we learn of the eventual marriage of Ruth and Boaz which then leads to the birth of their son. Interestingly, the genealogy of Ruth and Boaz leads to David who eventually leads to Jesus.  

The marriage of Ruth and Boaz foreshadows the birth of one who would become the true Kinsman-Redeemer, Jesus Christ. Jesus becomes the redeemer who seeks after the orphan, the widow, and the foreigner. He came to restore justice and mercy. He came to woo his bride.  

How then do we go about finding a man or woman of godly character? First, reevaluate yourself. Are you a Ruth or a Megan Fox? Are you a Boaz or a George Clooney? Secondly, reevaluate your priorities. Is what you find to be most attractive in line with what Scripture is calling us to seek? Remember these are not just stupid rules. Character is what has the power to transform. What traits can sharpen you and make you into the man or woman God has called you to be? Have these in mind as you go out and serve and meet others. These should be your non-negotiables.